lung float test by Nastia Svarevska

I almost killed you once
In a holiday resort in Turkey

In a chlorinated swimming pool
With children giggling and gaggling

Their parents sunbathing on plastic
Sunbeds because at last their time to rest

I pushed you down the slide shaped
Like an octopus or another sea creature

A silly little joke played on a younger
Sibling but your blue bathing suit got stuck

Between its filthy fibreglass teeth
And your tiny body hung upside down

Unable to breathe underwater like
You could not breathe overwater

When you were born in 2004
The early signs of asthma

Fluid buildup in your lungs
Caused by the family-

Friendly pool
I stood

Motionless
Helpless

Not grasping
The gravity

Of the situation
Hoping for

Some buoyancy but
There was none

When our dad opened his eyes
Saved your life like he still does

Now after years have passed and
I find myself drowning on a regular basis

Unable to stay afloat or keep up with the flow
You pull me out each time